I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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