Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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