I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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