oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
