I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
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