My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We had sex on a dog bed..
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
