So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize