I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I will die if light touches me.
Just cropdusted the office
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
