guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
