This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
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