i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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