Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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