Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
