i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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