Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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