we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
