She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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