I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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