i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
