its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize