I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
