ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
