I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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