She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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