last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
God I need to hump something, right now.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
