you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
