Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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