dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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