Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
