Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
