I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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