just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize