I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
