Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
