they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I need to calm my uterus...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
