marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
