ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
