why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
