I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
