Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
