Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
