Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize