didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize