i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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