You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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