how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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