so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
