you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
