the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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