Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
