Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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