Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
