YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
