Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
