Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she pinky promised me she was 18
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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