so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
