Non-Jews are for practice
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
